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Writings on the Wall, a construction toilet story

March 6, 2013

Writings on the Wall: a Construction Toilet Story

We’ve all been to restaurants before and have experienced the horrors we know as the public bathrooms.  Sure some places boast they have the cleanest facilities.  Hell, even some bars will throw in well dressed people trying to sell you mints and axe body spray as you burst out of the stall stumbling after you just decorated the walls with your last meal.  No matter how they try to dress them up and sell them as a 2 star establishment, the end result is the same.  They all stink.

Construction site toilets however have much graver stories to tell.  They are not frequented by the common gas station customer, nor the staff of a hotel trying to find solitude to sneak in one last cigarette before returning to his lifeless shift back in the kitchen.  No, these toilets are visited by some of the dirtiest -and uneducated- people in the workforce.  Granted I am an electrician, I don’t want to be bias or point fingers, but there are people on site with us who are slightly more dim than the rest of us, and their maturity level is forever etched on the walls of such places.  Yes, I’m talking about the construction site toilet stalls.  These are their stories.


Take a look at exibit A.  The toilet stall.  No, this isn’t *the* construction site toilet that this tale is all about.  This is merely an actor.  The real toilet wouldn’t sign a waver to be put up on my blog.  Actually, to be honest I didn’t want to be caught standing outside of the washroom taking a picture of it.  You’ll have to trust that this picture above doesn’t do the dirty dingy justice of how bad the actual stalls really are.  However I digress.  Onto the writings..

Toilet Hieroglyphics

writing3This here is a classic case of company “poetic justice”.  Not only does the employee stick it to the man by wasting time on the toilet, he openly admits to it in rhyme.  Judging by the half decent penmanship and notoriously presumptuous attitude, I’d say this was written by a plumber.

writing4Ahh, here we have the complete disregard for other people’s race.  As you may notice, another took offence to this retort – and rightfully so.  This man can’t even spell “Afghan” properly, let alone the distasteful remark towards his bowel movements. Tsk tsk.

writing2As you can see from the writing above, no one is spared in the washroom slander talk.  This little poem attacks on our friends from Alberta in an act of jealously as he will probably be replaced by an out-of-towner with a higher skill set and better manners.  For shame..

writing1Last but not least, I leave you with this.  This hero thinks he will leave a parting gift in the wake of his regularly scheduled morning-after movement due to a long night of drinking Lucky Lager beer washed down with Southern Comfort.  As you may notice, he was gratuitously corrected by someone of a much higher intellect – or at least with a better understanding of the rules of English spelling and grammar.  This one really hurts my head.  I REALLY don’t want to point any fingers, but this one has ‘dry waller’ written all over it..

This wraps up this weeks edition of Writings on the Wall.  Until next time, keep your markers handy, and dictionary on hand.  Goodnight everyone.

  1. Kristi permalink

    I have long known that electricians couldn’t spell, I didn’t realize it was a “construction trade” affliction though…

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