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Groomsman vs Bridesmaid, the Matt Hazard Story

March 18, 2013

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And so here we have it, the age old tradition of being hand picked by a beloved friend or family member to be a part of their special day as they join hands and become one with their significant other.  Or as I like to romantically put it; legally bound to another person.  However being chosen to play the roll of a bridesmaid or a groomsman is indeed a great honour, each position does come with its own set of responsibilities.  I have ironically been able to play the role of both.  This is my story..

The Groomsman

As I had mentioned in an earlier blog post last month, I was asked by my good friend Mike to stand on his side of the church up front with him.  Naturally, I was honoured.  This is kind of a big deal, because every man who’s ever been in a wedding party as a groomsman knows this and this alone – there is a LOT of booze to be drank.  For free.  Oh and of course, there’s a few other minor responsibilities that comes with the job description, such as planning a bachelor party.  Bachelor parties can be a trick at times, but usually the groom always settles for the classic ‘go for din followed by strippers’ routine.  We did exactly that. Check. Easy peasy.  I won’t double post pics, but to see the results of that night you can check out last months post Milestones and Bachelor Parties.

IMG_1066This lovely collection of fools are myself and the male half of the wedding party.  The photographer asked us to ‘pose silly’, to which I replied ‘no Madam, on this day we shall pose in nothing less than class’, and promptly suggested the critically acclaimed cover shot of classic 1977’s Charlie’s Angels.  Within minutes of this shot, my friend became a husband.

The Bridesmaid

Oh the bridesmaid.  Did I ever get an old fashioned schoolyard fun-poking for this one.  What’s most interesting about being called in as a bridesmaid was the fact that it was my good friend Becky – Mikey’s sister – who I stood up there for.  Many men asked me how it felt on the other side of the fence for a day, and I responded honestly – pure awesome.  I’m not sure how it all happened, but at one point during the morning setup for the girls, I was actually IN the same room with them as they were getting their dresses on.  The responsibilities involved in being a bridesmaid are a touch more in depth than the groomsman’s job description, but I’d be lying if I said what damn near any of them were.  Why is this, you may ask?  Simply being a guy I was exempt from all surrounding wedding responsibilities.  Seriously, I wasn’t even there for the bachelorette party, let alone plan it – that night I was out with her fiance at his bachelor party eating thai food followed by excessive boozing watching Winnipeg’s finest dancers.  All I had to do was show up and look pretty, which was difficult enough for me.

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And here I am, right smack dab in the middle of a bunch of girls.  Do I look out of place?  Hell yeah I do, but did I care?  Not in the least.  I was doing my good friend the honour of being there on her wedding day.  And again, quite importantly, there was a lot of food and booze involved.  Point, Hazard.

Conclusion

Before I ahead of myself, let me break down the morning routine differences on preparation of the wedding days between the girls and the guys.  The girls we up at 7am to prep for a hair appointment.  Then men met at 10am for some scotch and some NHL 13 on the PS3.  After over 3 hours at the salon, the girls made their way to the hotel room to start the surgical procedure of ‘slipping into their dresses’ as they so elegantly put it.  The men switched from scotch to beer, ordered pitas, and switched to Madden.  The girls….ok I honestly don’t know what the girls were doing between the act of getting their dresses on and the following few hours, but the men got bored of video games after the first half of the day, and within 20 minutes we were suited up and on our way to the church.  In short, men get ready faster.  Every time.  The nice thing is we have beer and video games to keep us occupied as the poor women struggle all day with fried nerve endings and stress levels that could kill anyone over the age of 50.  As I’m writing this I’m realizing that my roll of both the groomsman and bridesmaid didn’t actually differentiate much at all.  Even while on the girls team I wasn’t required for the early hair appointment, so I just rolled in when I was awake and ready to party.  I guess the only real conclusion is, sadly enough, it’s way easier being a man in any sort of wedding situation.  Unless you’re the groom.  Goodnight everybody.

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