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Bragging and Consequences – My Golf Story

July 17, 2013

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OK, so I have a bit of a problem.  If you ask me if I can play baseball, I’ll tell you I’m an unreal pitcher – which is actually kind of true.  If you talk to me about fitness and running, I could tell you stories and training methods for days.  Want to talk ice hockey?  I’ll boldly proclaim that I’m virtually Ondrej Pavelec in net…even though I have really only played spongee and not a lot of actual ice hockey.  Bring up golf?  Oh sure, its only my second year playing, but I’ve made so many unreal shots its amazing.  Oh, wait, you’re inviting me on a golf trip to the USA, on a pro course?  Crap.  So I’ve got a problem.  I’m a bragger.  And you’ve called me on it.

It’s sort of ironic that they call me Hazard, as during this golf trip I’ve hit every hazard each hole had to offer.  Water, sand, trees…even the golf cart.

More impressively, I caught the ball I hit with my 7 iron.  Even more impressively, that wasn’t my first time.  Last year at the same resort, I was able to catch two of my drives off the tee-off box.  For serious.  I’m thinking of spear heading the golf division for the Harlem Globe Trotters.

Whats to top all that, I went along on this trip for my cousins stag with ten other guys – all of them avid golfers.

So how did I survive?  It wasn’t the easiest task in the world, but I felt the best method was to resort to what I do best…make ’em laugh.

I haven’t seen my uncles laugh that hard in like…well…ever.  Interesting part was, I didn’t even have to try that hard.  They were laughing at every real attempt I made to drive, hit, and putt the ball.  Don’t even get me started on chipping.  At one point, my uncle literally dropped his driver and hit the ground cry-laughing as I “drove” the ball directly into my own golf cart, knocking over my beer.  Ok fine, my cooler.  Don’t judge me, I was on vacation.

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Needless to say, the trip was a lot of fun.  Crappy golfing or not, it was great experience meeting a lot of really cool people, and getting closer with a cousin and uncle I don’t get to see very often.  Apart from my sucky back 9 (and front 9), I truly did have a lot of fun.

Probably the best part was partying with my uncles.  Seriously, ask any dude, and we’ll all tell you that nothing can beat knocking back a few drinks with cousins and uncles.  Especially on a sporting trip coupled with an all inclusive resort.

So, bragging and making a fool out of myself…did I learn my lesson?  Will I continue this path of embarrassment through out the rest of my life, or change into a more modest man proud of his actual achievements?  Ha.  I’m 30 years old.  Set in my ways.  Ask me tomorrow if I can out run Usain Bolt, or beat my own seasoned uncle in a black russian inspired dance-off.  My answer will always be the same.  I’m a champ.  And I’m probably better than you.

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