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Men in their Early 30s. We’re Screwed

July 31, 2013

It’s my brothers wedding day.  Mom is well into her third glass of wine.  I make a comment about how beautiful the bride and groom make as a couple, and mom decides to start parenting me.  She makes mention of a girl I’d dated last November and how its too bad that she didn’t like me as much as I had liked her.  I retort by asking mom if she’s a certified doctor, qualified to reopen old wounds.  Mom laughs and finishes her wine, and I take a shot whatever was directly in front of me.  I tell my mom not to worry about me and I leave the table, smiling a little to myself.  Why?  Because I know the reality of being a single male in his early 30s.  And because I know better.

The reality is, the girl from November is just one of many that didn’t work out in the grand scheme of dating and relationships.  I’ve dated a bunch since, and every one has the same turn out – either we just don’t mesh, or I decide they’re not exactly what I’m looking for in a relationship and it ends.

Now I must be clear, none of this is the girls fault.  This is what happens to A LOT of guys in their early 30s, and I think I’ve figured out why.

Most girls in their 20s are looking for older guys.  That’s safe to assume as fact.  Therefore you’ll see a lot of 21 and 22 year olds with men in their late 20s, and sometimes even early 30s.  And hey, hats off to those dudes, but when you want something more than a late night club partner, the young girls usually aren’t going to make the cut.

Consequently, the girls in their late 20s have the same mindset as girls in their early 30s – they want older guys.  Women in their early 30s are usually NOT looking for a guy their own age.  Why would they?  If they’re in their early 30s and single, it’s because some immature men they’ve dated in their past wrecked any hope for any other decent dude who comes their way.  These women want men, or at least what they interpret as men – guys in their late 30s early 40s.  This leaves the 30 year old man virtually SOL, unless we want to go back to the 22 year olds in the loud clubs who don’t want to commit.  Sigh.

So what can we do?

Simply put, nothing.  Go out, have fun with your single buddies.  Have guys nights out.  See how much beer you can drink in a weekend fishing, then try to beat that record.  Enjoy growing facial hair that your male companions think is awesome, but no woman would ever appreciate.  I for one shaved my face into that of Wolverine.  I’ve been rocking the Hugh Jackman for half a week now, and I regret nothing.

Gentlemen, there is hope!  All you have to do, is turn 35.  Statistically speaking, you’re now of age old enough to date a girl who’s 29 going on 30, and be that older mature man she’s looking for.  Just remember to act mature, as she’s now at that stage in her life where she hates ‘boys’ and men her own age.  Oh, and don’t forget to shave your horribly amazing beard.  That’s only allowed until the age of 34.  I’ve got another few years ahead of me, personally.  I’m good.

I know now what I want in a woman.  It’s simple really, just two solid qualities.  A girl with a great personality, coupled with confidence.  Women, confidence is key.  Men love that.  It’s probably the most attractive quality a woman can possess.  However, I’m still only 30.  I still have four years to wait until I qualify to date such a woman.  Thank God I turn 31 this September.  Tick toc.

In the end you can’t blame the 22 year olds for not wanting a decently serious relationship with anyone over the age of 30.  It’s just near impossible to work out.  Also we can’t be upset with the 31 or 32 year old who doesn’t want to date us.  Our fellow man wrecked that opportunity for us flat out.

Until the golden age of 35, gents, all we can do is enjoy the single life.  Or fling it up with the younger crowd.  Whatever floats your boat.  Personally, I’m cool with the single life for another few years.  I know some of you may want to challenge my views, or even choose not to accept it.  Thats fine.  I don’t make the rules.  Its just…well…science.

  1. Haha, as I find myself at the age of 35, and dating a 28 year old, I can only laugh at how true this is. However, you have a small window that could save you. That window is the 26-29 year olds. Tough because this group is usually either married or in a relationship about to get married or break up (prior to the single early 30’s group). But there is a small group that made it through their early 20’s, single, because they focused on grad school or something. Find them, and you may have hope. LOL, until then, happy hunting.

  2. You know, that is true. Stats will show my luck is better chanced focusing on lotto tickets though. Plus, I really like my beard. I’ll wait it out. Thanks! 🙂

  3. I am 33 and have had 15 dates in the past 2 months, girls ranging from 27-35. I wouldn’t “wait” at all my friend 😉 Although, its a numbers game and may still take awhile!
    My 30’s dating blog >>

    • Took me a while to reply, sorry man. Finding dates isn’t too difficult, but finding something worthwhile really truly is. That’s my problem, I have my sights set on something real. I’ve done a LOT of dating last year, and only a handful this year. I’m slowing down, unsure if it’s a rut I’m hitting or a new mindset. Either way, scotch is great on the rocks.

  4. Bria Bentley permalink

    I am a newly single 31 yr old female. I was with a guy for 7 years(he is 32) and just found out he had been emotionally cheating for a while. I think your article is very funny, but I hope not true:( I am NOT interested in a guy that is in his late 30’s early 40’s(lord no!!!!!). I would like someone around my age just not a douchebag:) I kow some other girlfriends my age that are single.. we just want a guy that we would call our friend first then date the crap out of him!! I also don’t mind the Wolverine beard 😉

    • Bria, I sincerely wish the entire world genuinely shared your views. What you said about dating is EXACTLY how I feel. However, my track record shows the last girl I really cared about got engaged after dating me, and the girl I currently have a crush on is dating my doppelganger. The world is my oyster, and I’m clearly at the wrong restaurant.

      • Bria permalink

        Maybe we are all at the wrong restaurant?!? Good luck with your crush:) I am seriously considering lesbianism 🙂

  5. shar permalink

    hi, i’m a 43 year old lady, and i would luv to date a guy in his 30s.
    i’m not currently interested in my age group. i know a couple of guys in their 30s and i find them much easier company. i see a balance of intellect and sense of fun. 🙂
    maybe not others .. but for the guys i know at this point in time its true.

  6. I think it is quite correct what has been said in the article, but I think it is worth trying to find the right match and the right date, I think it will be actually good to move out of the age group and try a different one, especially a little older as that will help to get some more experience and a good time, a great way is to check out free dating sites to meet single women like MeetOutside, there are a lot of single men and women just waiting to be found so it is best to try out the luck with them and see how it goes.

    • Definitely appreciate your feedback Tim! However I’ve played a hand at online dating before, and on every account it turned out completely awful in my experience. I’ve vowed years ago never to try it again, and to take the more direct approach at women outside of the online dating universe. Even though my luck isn’t prime, i’ve got faith 😉

  7. Cate permalink

    What about 40 year woman dating a 30 year old man?
    He’s wanting to settle down with a woman who is confident, knows herself and what she wants, is a non clubber who appreciates him.

  8. Iri permalink

    I like your article. Congratulations your reaching 35 in a few!
    Your right about women in 30s not wanting to date a boy (Late20’s early 30s). I’m 33 and I seem to get the 28 year olds trying to get my attention. I just can not tolerate their lack of confidence. Plus, I will only date a guy that can grow and keep a full beard. So fellas let’s not shave those awesome beards!

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