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Social Ethics – Modern Day Commitment

August 16, 2013


A few weeks back, I went out to a cabin with a large group of friends.  Some were married, some had boyfriends and girlfriends, and a few of us jovial individuals were single.  Among the usual festivities that take place at any cabin, such as hot tubbing, swimming, and jet skiing, there was also drinking.  Copious amounts of drinking.

Adding alcohol to the mix in a diverse group of people can have interesting social effects.  Some will become more outgoing, others will grow a sense of confidence and will power they didn’t have while sober, while others will just flat out lose all inhibition.  During the first night of festivities I found myself a front row seat to watching the drunken decline of a girl without her boyfriend present get real cozy with another guy for the night.  Not exactly sure what their sleeping arrangements were (and not caring to find out), I grabbed a juice box and slept in my truck.  It’s possible the juice box had gin in it.  Irrelevant, but tasty.

What blew me away was the fact that the next morning, everyone seemed to be OK with it.  They all just brushed it off like it was “no big deal, and things happen”.  I literally heard people say that it was fine, they were drunk and didn’t know what they were doing.  Twenty years ago this kind of behaviour was not taken so lightly!  Hell, even ten years ago it was getting more common, but was still socially unacceptable.  This really made me think.  At what point exactly did society deem relationships unworthy of actual commitment?

I realize divorce rates are a lot higher in this day and age, but why is that?  Are people delving into relationships head on without actually being prepared for the long haul?  Are we quick to give up because it’s easier than trying?  Or are we as a society lacking general commitment because divorce is now socially acceptable?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely NOT against divorce.  People who stay in a failed marriage ‘for the kids’ are just mental.  Kids aren’t dumb, and eventually they see the issues in house.  Its unhealthy.  Clearly there are obvious situations where divorce is the best route for both parties to take.  For instance if a man is a perpetual cheater.  Or if the woman can’t handle someones pizza addiction coupled with the aftermath of the cheese-beer combo fallout the next morning.  Deal breaker.  (Single for a reason, ladies.)  Hell, I’m already at the age where I have to check fingers for rings.  I’ll be 31 next month – divorced women is probably the best chance I’ve got to meet someone close to my own age.  Morbid, but true.

I think my folks are the last generation of people who still manage to cling on to their wedding vows.  My generation seems to be full of people who don’t really grasp the value faithfulness in any sort of relationship.  We are living in a world where it’s just easier to say ‘screw it’ and quit, which makes it hard for anyone like myself who wants to find something real to build on.

I haven’t lost hope completely, though.  I’ve seen a fair amount of relationships and marriages go wonderfully, involving two people who are completely compatible and in love with each other.  Love can exist, and definitely does in most cases.  Nothing has warmed my heart more than watching my own brother get married this year.  My cousin is up next, tying the knot next month.  Two friends next year.  As for myself?  I’ll stay single until I’m 40.  At least by then, there should be a fair number of divorced women to pick from.  After all, when in Rome..  😉

  1. Stacey permalink

    people lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions. being drunk isn’t an excuse. if you do bad things while drunk maybe stop drinking so much…

    Anyhow i think you know how i stand with this kind of stuff. zero tolerance.

    you are a good man matt 🙂

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