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A Good Old Fashioned Beard-Off

October 2, 2013

Working with the same group of people day after day can get a little, well, drawl.  You’ll hear the same stories, recycle the same jokes, and…. So how do we spice up an otherwise repetitive work environment?  Well, the only way us men know how – friendly competition!

At the end of last month, a buddy and myself during our coffee break decided to enter a friendly little competition.  Well, decided to isn’t exactly the correct way of putting it – it sort of just fell into place.  I walked past him with a coffee cup in my hand and noticed that he too also had a coffee cup in his hand.   We both paused and looked at each other.  I stroked my stubble, he eyed me up and did the same.  Next thing I knew, these words literally just fell out of my face without my control “…beard-off?”.  He gave a slow smile and repeated those words back.  “Beard-off.”  And just like that, it was official.

The next day we set the rules, after verifying that the previous days agreements were actually official (which they evidently were).  The rules were simple.  No shaving or trimming the beard until November 1st, although general neck maintenance was granted.

Now to anyone who isn’t familiar as to what a beard-off is, it’s a fully regulated contest between two or more parties who agree upon a deadline in which only one sole victor can be deemed winner based on a general marvellous display grown on ones face.  In laymen’s terms; the epic facial hair wins.

Just to brush up on a bit of history here, I am single.  Now this may seem as the worst thing since ‘yolo’ hit the internet, but I have literally nothing to lose here.  My buddy on the other hand is fully engaged in a long term relationship.  Now, this may seem a touch unfair, but realize that with men all is fair upon any sort of mutual agreement.

Now in the end, this may seem completely ridiculous.  Like really, what says “Vagina? None for me, thanks” better than an ugly facial hair growing competition which will inevitably turn women away from myself over the next month?  The answer is simple…challenge a man and he simply cannot turn away.  Real men go through with virtually any competition so long as a fellow man is willing to endure the exact same consequences.  Besides, this is a great excuse for hilarious costumes for Halloween.  He’s going as Paul Bunyan, where I am going as Alan from the Hangover.  Still think it’s stupid?  Well, you’re probably right.  Whatever, dude.  #yolo

  1. Michelle permalink

    In the famous words of the internet… pics or it didn’t happen :p

    • When it’s all said and done, I’ll put our before and after pictures up. I’m looking for a baby face to Duck Dynasty transformation.

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