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The Other “F” Word

March 13, 2014


Just to prove that I do have a shred of humanity buried deep inside this twisted mind of mine, I occasionally consider a life where I would hold others in a higher regard over myself.  A life where I’m not my own focal point, and where everything I did would strongly influence the life of another.  Where I’d be entrusted as a responsible human being to put my own needs aside to provide and give care for a higher priority.  That’s right folks, I’m talking about fatherhood.

Sometimes I think of what my life would be like if I had kids.  I’m at the age now where I’m already thinking of a family life and what that would be like.  Fully understanding that this may also include finding someone who already has kids.  Keeping in mind that being a guardian is not the same as being a biological father, it’s just as important.  You would still love the child, and provide the same way a real father would.

Of course, with older kids it would be a lot different.  For instance, if I walked into someones life and they had a 9 year old, the child wouldn’t necessarily view me as “dad”.   If I ever were to become “dad” to the child, it would be on their terms.  And in a lot of situations, you just remain a guardian which is fine too.  My uncle married someone with two kids from a prior relationship, and he’s just referred to as “Dave” around the house.  Or Uncle D, whenever I come over to score a free meal.  My aunt is aces.

Just for fun, lets run through a checklist of skills I ALREADY have that would be deemed baby daddy worthy..  

  • I have 4 younger brothers, and therefore know how to change a diaper.
  • I took a babysitting course (that my mom made me take), and was the only male in it.  This means I know how to deal both with keeping a child alive by myself for several hours, and also with humiliation in a social setting.
  • Just the same as newborns, I enjoy a good boob, which means early on I could relate to my child

Although I am no where close to a situation that grants me captains seat in the minivan, I’ve lightly joked with the idea of adopting a baby and playing the roll of a single dad.  Interesting fact, did you know if a man adopts a baby he’s still entitled to paternity leave?  Forget crazy cat ladies, being a crazy baby daddy could be my retirement plan!  Just picture a house with 70 kids and a man in a housecoat running around with a newspaper and corncob pipe shouting “pull my finger” at every turn.  Try getting a house full of cats on that bandwagon.  Although, the title crazy baby daddy sounds negative..

  1. Mel permalink

    If you can also survive on extremely limited sleep or grouping of sleep/(1 to 2 hrs here or there). then you are set. Definitely can see you telling people to pull your finger.

  2. ElvenAssassin permalink

    I had forgotten that parents are entitled to parental leave adopting a child. *Every* parent deserves a chance to bond and have copious amounts of 1-on-1 time with their new child. My husband considered taking parental leave with both of our children, but opted not to, as he made more money than I, and if he took top up pay, he was indentured for an equal time thereafter. Feeling his job was too mercurial, that didn’t sit well with him, but it was strongly considered.

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