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Life’s a Game

June 23, 2014


Most aspects of our lives are dangerously relative to sports.  Metaphorically speaking.  For instance, if you’re the the dating type, you want to see how many home runs you can proverbially hit.  Or in my brother’s case, how many times you can hit first base.  Zing.  Alternatively, or perhaps more literally, you want to hit that good ol’ retirement hole with as little strokes as possible.  Still confused?  Watch.

Sex could be compared to a football game.  For arguments sake, the man plays the role of the quarterback, where the woman takes on the role of the coach.  Now, the quarterback is the star player, however he still needs to please the coach.  Or he’ll be benched.  In a worst case scenario, the coach calls in the backup.  And you really, really don’t want that.

Going out on a couples date night could be compared to a game of darts.  To start the night, first you want to double up.  After that, you want to strategically beat the other team in romance points before doubling out for the win.  The prize?  Bragging rights.  I know, but let’s face it.  Darts suck.

If  you’re in a bad game of relationship poker and the game has lost it’s value?  Throw down your losing hand and cash in your chips.  Sure, you’ve taken a loss, but don’t invest the remaining chips you have in a losing game.  Try the slot machines, it’s new and exciting.  Take a gamble.

Even the small things like general game management could tie in to life.  For a moment, view a dance club like a card game preparation.  You don’t want to roll up to a group of girls without knowing how to deal with all the players.  And don’t even think about hitting the dance floor unless you know how to shuffle.

Have an office job and want to take some time off work?  Play it like a game of soccer.  Show up well dressed and your hair properly groomed, and follow that up by faking an injury.  I mean, really play it up.

Pessimistic with overbearing life issues?  Neatly stack all your woes four levels high until they all just disappear.

OK, all I’m suggesting is to pick a sport that works for you and crush life with it.  Find your game.  Make life fun, because let’s face it – the last thing you want to do is attempt to play the football dating game and wind up excelling at solitaire.

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